We Are The Ululating Tzatziki

WE ARE the ululating tzatziki

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"I did enjoy this british, sci fi comedy! It was laugh out loud at moments & at others completely daft! A way out there idea, which was well crafted into a whirl wind adventure of epic proportions! A super fun read if you like a little school boy humour in the mix!" ★★★★☆ Sam

"Douglas Adams fans will warm to this. Laugh out loud funny space adventure ... Thank you to the author." ★★★★☆ Debbie

"I read the blurb for this book and immediately requested. I really enjoyed this and certainly filled the void that books like Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy left behind. I’m sure funny space romps are tired of being compared to that book, but that just highlights how little we see in that genre of humorous/space opera/found family vibes of which this book certainly delivers." ★★★★☆ Katie

“A sci-fi comedy for the ages, We Are The Ululating Tzatziki reads like a spiritual successor to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I had a blast reading this… the entire story reads like a love letter to the absurd.” ★★★★☆ Julia

“Funnier than Nineteen Eighty-Four, more prosaic than 2001: A Space Odyssey, shorter than Dune, more interesting than Gimson’s Pronunciation of English and contains more references to Greek yoghurt than the entire works of Ray Bradbury." - the author

THAT blurb

"("It's a thing of beauty - possibly the best blurb I've ever read." - Liz)

What would you do if you received a message from an alien superintelligence, via a tray of tzatziki, warning you that the Earth was in grave danger?

Our hero Nigel Spleen is trying and failing to get some breakfast (again) when that half-baked halfwit Duncan Doesn't turns up, lures Nigel into a VTOL-capable pub and drags him into the outer thermosphere. This is where Nigel learns about his mission: a Very Big Thingy is about to crash into the Earth, and the tzatziki overmind has selected him to find some way to stop it. Nigel is thus forced to address the above question, along with other, more profound, questions that such a situation would naturally give rise to.

On his mission, Nigel, along with the crew of the Septic Carbuncle, journeys to the Large Magellanic Cloud, sits in a bowl of Vaffazzatan Hyperbeetroot stew with an alien who reminds him of a bloke he knows from Solihull, falls through a plot hole, meets someone made entirely from mozzarella, consults The Economist Style Guide to clarify whether 'anteater' is technically a rhyme for 'plant-eater', is ordered to dress someone as a garden gnome and call them Denis Thatcher, fights a Quasivasectomied Querulous Etterkop, listens to the audiobook version of A Concise History of Proctology, briefly becomes half man half tzatziki, solves the mystery of Chekhov's cucumber, learns the truth behind Balzak the Boar (and his alien superweapon the drinking straw of death), and confronts his arch-nemesis the irascible, boorish and supremely abusive Malevolent Taramasalata.